Confidence… we hear a lot of talk about it, and we all want it. Or want more of it.
Confidence trickles down into, and affects all areas of our lives. How we carry ourselves, how we think, react, how well we perform, and how we act in relationships just to name a few.
Confidence is majestic and it demands authority and respect. But confidence can also be fragile. Past experiences, other people and their opinions, plus pop culture demands, can chip away at our confidence and in turn, affect many areas of our lives.
Low confidence in self, is what gets us in bad relationships, with people who don’t respect us or who don’t know our value. Low confidence drives fear and doubt. You doubt the things you say or do, you’re constantly worried about what other people say or think of you, and sadly, lots of people don’t accomplish their potential not because they can’t figure out how to make it happen, but because they don’t see themselves worthy of it.
Confidence is not an all or nothing kind of thing. It’s not like you either have confidence or you don’t. There’s an initial belief, which grows more and more through age, life experiences, knowledge, skill sets, resources, reinforcements, support. And the goal is to build and add more to it; like building blocks.
More and more research is starting to point out that confidence can be a measurable brain activity. We know from brain imaging studies that when we feel confident, we engage circuits involved in reward and pleasure, which is why we feel SO GOOD when we are confident; it’s all happening at a cellular level in the brain.
When I created VREA Cosmetics, I wanted to make everyone using our products feel beautiful, and I wanted to create products that actually solve problems. But VREA in fact goes beyond that, because wellness is a lifestyle and I wanted us to contribute as much to that as possible. So here we are today, with my go-to tips to improve self-confidence.
TIP #1. Give me a “V”!
You may know this as a cheerleader’s move, but aside from that, throwing your hands straight up towards the sky, is actually referred to as a power pose. It’s called that, because you are expanding your body, your arms are stretched out, and from your shoulders up, you look like a V… you’re making yourself appear bigger.
And when you think about it, most animals in the wild have a mechanism just like that, to ward off predators. Mother Nature is telling us that this works.
If you just do it for a minute in the morning when you wake up, or before a meeting, or before a date, or whatever your circumstance may be… you will instantly give yourself a confidence boost. Whenever I’m about to go into a really important meeting or jump on stage on a speaking panel, I’m in the bathroom stall, getting into this stretch.
I challenge you to try this. Stretch into that V, breathe in the positive energy the world has ready for you. YOU are amazing!!
TIP #2. Spritz on a scent, aka: smell therapy.
Your favorite fragrance can do more than just make you smell nice. As it turns out… it could actually make you feel more confident, too.
In previous studies, about 90% of the women who participated said they actually felt more confident when wearing a fragrance compared to the times when they weren’t. And that's because our olfactory system (the sense of smell) is connected to the limbic system, which is a part of the brain responsible for interpreting memories and emotions.
So think about it: what is a perfume that makes you feel amazing whenever you wear it? Maybe because it brings out good memories? Think about it and start wearing it more often. Especially wear it on the days when you wake up in a funk or feeling less than your best.
When you put it on, your brain will be able to connect it to that feeling again and your mood and energy will go up a notch.
TIP #3. Practice ASKING for what you want.
My favorite saying of all time is: “A mouth that doesn’t ask, doesn’t get fed.” That’s part of building self-confidence. Knowing what you want is one thing, but ASKING for it is another. Using your voice equates to asserting yourself, and that’s... incredibly powerful!
Make it a habit to address your needs and ask for what you want. That could be with your friends, family, significant other, anybody and everybody.
Rather than hoping others will be able to read your mind, give your confidence a boost by ASKING for what you want.
Speak up. Say: “I want this”, or “I like it when you do that”. Or “I’d like to go there”, or “No, I’m not up for doing this”. Use your voice and ask for what you want, This is HUGE for self-confidence.
TIP #4. Start a new, healthy habit.
It doesn’t have to be anything “crazy”. Could be to start the day with some warm lemon water. Could be to start journaling or going for a hike every weekend.
The key is for it to be a positive habit and to keep at it consistently. Once you build the new habit, you’ll not only have a healthy new element in your life, but your self-esteem will go up and you’ll feel extra good about yourself.
TIP #5. Work out the brain & body.
Physical fitness plays in fact, a huge role in self-esteem.
When you’re "out of shape", you’ll likely feel more insecure. Having the discipline to work out not only affects the way you look, but also the way you FEEL. Because you’ll feel better. This will create a positive momentum that helps boost your self-esteem, and that's truly priceless.
You can start small, putting one foot in front of the other. No shame. Maybe start by working out once a week. Doing that for a couple of months and building up from there.
Now in addition to your body, you also have to keep your mind in shape. And here, I’d like for you to make a list of 10 things that help stimulate your mind and incorporate at least one of these things into your DAILY routine.
Reading a book, learning more words in a new language, watching a documentary, going to a museum, learning to play a new song on an instrument or learning a new lighting technique for photography… whatever it is, figure out HOW to squeeze in a little bit of time to feed your mind on a daily basis.
Knowledge is not only powerful, but very empowering as well. When you become more knowledgeable in something, you literally can feel yourself becoming more confident.
I could talk about confidence and how to increase it all day, but in the interest of time, I’ve recorded a podcast for you with all the tips. 20+ tips to be more precise… Trying just 2 or 3 of them on a monthly basis will yield you unbelievable results. To hear more, look up BACKBONE NOT WISHBONE, anywhere you consume podcasts and listen to episode #10.
We love you so much here and are constantly rooting for you. You have a friend in VREA. Believe in yourself!
Love always,
Alexandra (Founder | CEO)